Beertastic

Last night I went to my first REAL company party. I honestly can't think of a time when I've attended another one, having always changed jobs before the big X-mas blow out or the summertime company picnic.
Due to the copious amounts of free beer, I got super drunk and am now the proud owner of this:

I am also the proud owner of a hangover.
Actually, a pretty good time was had by all and I should take a minute for a quick shout-out to my ladies, Leah, Kim and Jane, without whom I'm pretty sure I would never drink as much or be as obnoxious. Love you guys. Hope you feel as craptastic as I do today.
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I'm reading a really good book right now. It's one of my true crime novels by Ann Rule. Small Sacrifices, it's called. Totally F-ed up story about a woman who shot her kids, killing one and critically injuring the other two, here in Oregon in the early eighties. This chick is a total sociopath and the story is fascinating. If you're looking for a guilty pleasure read, this is a good one.
I have to start Middlesex soon, as it's this month's selection for our book club. I underestimated and didn't finish Cannery Row last month, so if I don't finish this book I lose all credibility within my literary circle. Although, I'm pretty sure I screwed that pooch ages ago.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

I'm just getting over this retarded flu-thing that kicked my ass this weekend. Barely making it through my shift on Sat. afternoon, I get home to discover I have a fever of 101! What am I, like, 5? I don't remember the last time I had a fever, but I will say the bonus is getting to lay in bed and do NOTHING. And there's no guilt! I did miss a couple of shifts, which is sadly detrimental to my financial position, but at least I'm feeling better.
I can't say my welcome back into the land of the living was very positive, what with the recent news of Gov. Spitzer's DOUCHEBAGGERY!!
Seriously?
Seriously!!
Am I surprised? NO.
Disappointed? ABSOLUTELY!
Look, I get it. Nobody's perfect. However, if you're gonna hold public office, try not to fuck it up by paying for hookers, with money you've laundered, during your first term as Governor. You've got four whole years to screw up, why be premature? At least Clinton waited until he was six years in.
I understand that men in power have been cheating on their wives with hookers and other types since ole' Georgie chopped that damn tree down, but in this day and age, in a country so divided, I'd be watching my ass a little bit closer. If you're gonna cheat: fine. You're a disgusting disgrace, hey, that's between you and your wife. But, if you're so rich that you've got an extra $80,000 to spend on hookers (when you have a perfectly handsome wife at home who you can plow all you want in your 5th ave. apartment) why not take a minute to toss one off, think about the consequences and use that money to put some needy kids through college.
Well, now you've resigned, as you should have, lost the trust of your family and country, ruined your political career and been replaced by a man who is legally blind.
Ahhhhhh, I hope that was some sweet Vagine.

Good Day Sunshine

Never before have I been so in love with the sun. I mean, I grew up in San Diego for Christ's sake but I never knew true love until now.
Oh, Portland.
You've teased me with your blue skies and warm temperatures before, but I can't resist taking advantage of you again... you beautiful thing, you.
Dillon and I spent a gorgeous afternoon on our bikes, riding through our neighborhood and further north where I hadn't been. It was super fun.See, SUPER fun.
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On another note, last night we watched an amazing documentary called 'The Business of Being Born'. It was a phenomenal look at how women give birth in this country, the disappearance of Midwives and the reason behind an alarming rise in the rate of C-sections.
I've thought a lot about having kids and just assumed I'd be one of those women who'd be screaming for more drugs, swearing at my husband and spitting on the doctor. I even rejected the idea of breast feeding (it creeps me out), much to the dismay of my BF, April, who spent years as a labor & delivery nurse. After seeing this film, I know now that I will NOT be one of those women. Giving birth has become something as simple as a pedicure, just another appointment penciled in for so many women. I guess I feel like I owe it to myself to have the whole experience, to really live in that moment and be present the whole time. Obviously my thoughts are premature since I'm saving myself for marriage, but I like to plan ahead.
Seriously, though, see this film.

Private Eyes (clap clap) are watching you

In honor of our cat, whose hunting and stalking skills we find to be hilarious, Dillon and I tried our own hands at it. This is what happened:




I think we did pretty well.
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In keeping with the day's stalking theme, I was sitting in my apartment alone when I heard unfamiliar sounds in the stairwell to my apartment. After a moment's panic for unfamiliar noise, I realized it was the neighbor-kids playing around. I crept up to the peeophole and saw three boys carrying toy guns, playing 'Gang' or 'Sopranos' or 'Crack Deal Goes Bad'. I don't know.

Ballsy.

I mean, go play on your own concrete stairs, you punks. You've got some gumption climbing up my stairs and trying to off each other on my spanish language reversible doormat.

So I made a very adult decision. I had to fuck with them.
I let them play for a couple of minutes, all the while peeping at their misshapen heads and long faces via the hole. Very carefully, I raised my hand up towards my head.; Rested my knuckles lightly on the door; and knocked. Loudly.

The look on their faces was priceless. I watched one boy run down the stairs and not stop running until he reached the end of the front lot. I laughed out loud to myself, semi-maniacally and came to a couple of realizations:

1. I'm becoming one of those weird adults who likes to be weird and do weird things. Sometimes genuinely, sometimes to get attention. I remember these people from my own childhood. I'd like to think it's due to my reaching the point where I actually don't care what people think and I mainly do bizarre things because I get a kick out of it.

2. I'm pretty good at stalking.